One last chance

This is a convo I had with someone who lived in Maryland that I once talked to/dated until he lied and I went through a big fiasco. Now nearly 2 years later he realized the person I was and this is what he had to say:

Him:
Sooooo..........did you just ex me out your life when you deleted the number w/o calling by chance? And answer honestly>:(

Me:
after the episode wit your girlfriend I really felt like you lied to me when you didn't have too an it really really really hurt my feelings because you were someone I wanted to be with and I was even honestly considering moving up there to finish school and to see if things could work... i did delete your number but I had it memorized. I had to get over it. but I don't know it anymore...

Him:
So were you trying to forget me? I'm sorry about how it turned out too. I cant apologize enough. Karma had served me well and I've learned some different "lesson" i guess you could say. Really wish it didn't turn out the way it did despite it being my fault. I've thought about you plenty and figured i needed to forget as well. Guess i just needed to hear you say it. Don't suppose that were the case?
Sooooo.......I'm assuming you're saying you're over us?

Me:
sorry but yes

Him:
oh

well okay

Me:
what is it that you like about me?

Him:
Your dedication to life, willingness to work for what you want, the focus you possess, your heart and kindness, and your naturally willing to give w/o really asking for receipt of something

And of course these things outside of just how cute you are;-)

Me:
my feelings are gone because of the end result

Me:
why did you lie?

Him:
fear of giving you the truth to mess up something i enjoyed. And i was even scared of that b/c i wasn't really too sure if it were genuine being as good as it was. Never very trusting of something so good in life until the end when its no more

I think its always been one of my downfalls. Really realizing something when its too late

You suuuuuuure you erased aaaaall of your feelings for me? O:)

Me:
yes


-Mcgee

Patience

It always happens that when you want someone they don't want you and as soon as you get over them they want you... how does that always happen. I guess everything happens for a reason. That just means God has something better in store for you. Patience is a virtue.

-McGee

Strength

Im stuck between a rock and a hard place... maybe thats going to the extreme but I really am uncertain and unsire of my situation... Some days Its clear then other days I have no clue where I or we stand... I see myself not wanting to believe or be negative because I have been drug through the mud in my previous relationship. I have totally forgot what it feels like to be treated like a princess to be loves and appreciated by the opposite sex. While my fear is to allow myself to get back in a situation in which I have already been through and wish never to be in again... I am worth sooooooo much more than that and I know this... I just need God to give me the strength I need to see it for myself

-Mcgee

Love thy enemies

I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you- Matthew 5:43-44

*I will pray for him but I ask that you please pray for me*

-Mcgee

Love Sucks

So.... im starting to feel as though my EX has been re-encarnated into the guy im talkin too... its rather dissturbing. I created a vision board and i was hoping for a relationship or at least dating someone steady. Ive been "talking" "dating" i dunno what you call it for about 6 months and things dont seem to be progressing it's just standing still... Ive spoken to my best friend Corey about it and he told me his opinion and deep down inside I want to be with him because it's been 6 months then the other side of me feels as though I would be settling. Cool person but I don;t feel as if he's into me. I feel like I did when I was with my ex lonely, making an effort, and things dont seem to be reciprocated... We've chatted about how I feel ands he said I was siking myself out but I believe other wise. I know how I am suppose to be treated and this is not it. I can let go but i hate the time, engery, and money Ive invested to come this far ans give up... time and time again Ive gone to God to ask him to make us closer and maybe form a relationship but i don't believe we are suppose to be together as much as I think i wanted us to be. God puts people together and they arent meant top be... I sometimes wish he would allow this to happen... I know my self worth but i still find myself wanting to settle... I know it's about self love and if I loved myself I wouldn't allow myself to settle. Im not dumb maybe slightly weak minded but im seriously working on it but im strong minded. People cone in your life for various reasons, a season, or a life time... I just wonder what the purpose he has in my life. I guess only time will tell. The longer I continue to talk to him and see his patterns the more I feel like he's talkin to others and we have an agreement but I have no idea if he's sticking with his word on it I can only hope and pray that he is. If it doesn't work out then I know God has something better for me in store. On that note I will retire this blog. Until next time *waves bye*

-Mcgee