Who Cares

I don't care anymore! I'm goin to let it all go and let God. I've been told that good things come to those who wait and that patience is a virtue. I guess we'll see...

-Mcgee

torn

Ahhhh..so miss I hate men with such a passion has finally met someone. This guy is simply awesome..I mean mentality he is everything I want. He is goal oriented, postive, a go getter in a sense, and intelligent. When I'm with him I feel good and the dates we have been on I haven't been bored, I actually enjoy spending time with him. He doesn't blow my phone up he responds when he needs to and he likes me. Physically he's cute a little on the short side considering my amazon physique but it works in my world. And I actually like him. I haven't really liked anyone who was what I needed in a while but he is working so far. But ahhh woe is me..I do it to myself all the time..I get to thinking..and right now I'm like well what if I settle down with him and such and such finally comes around. I secretly want this other boy to come around and I feel like he will, if we ever get some one on one time..from afar he is the other side of me he stimulates me physically he is outgoing and social..funny..driven..stylish..and well kept..and he is also tall..so it works its just that I know him mind you we have been cool for all of 7 months but I don't know him I just like what I have gotten to know but to know him on another level I may not like him so much..but I don't want to keep my other guy in limbo while I figure this out..he is so sweet too..he is leaving town next week and made me a mix cd of songs as he says embody me..a message of how he feels about me..and he is planning a dinner for me..mind you I've only known him for a month..and we talk almost everyday..hmmm..I dunno..guess my mind is playing tricks on me..I know I should stick with what is working but I wanna know if what I want would work too. " what you want might male you cry what you need might pass you by if you don't catch it." Ooo lauryn hill speaks to my situation..wants and needs..but I'm young I deserve to dibble dabble right? Ha a sidenote: if I could discreetly post up the transcipt bewtenn me and the footlocker guru it would be a comedy..or some sort of theatrical production..I should leave him alone bc its obvious he doesn't want me more than just to do me..which in a way he has pointed out..the secret is that's all I want him for too but my up rightedness if that's a word won't let me give in to his loins...ahh but back to the matter at hand..I don't know what to do..I want him but in the back of my mind I'm thinking ahhh I want him too (the other).

-Beanz